A week ago I was sitting in the conference room of the office bawling over a real estate deal I couldn’t make heads or tails about because it was the first time I was in this situation and it was starting to breach my comfort zone of how much stress I can handle that’s connected to my uncertainty and self-doubt. I felt alone, I felt like I was a burden on my fellow agents, I felt ready to throw in the towel.
Then a fellow agent stopped by the office and all she had to say was, “Just breathe.”
In short order, the crown was readjusted, I remembered I wasn’t that person anymore. Everything I thought I didn’t know, suddenly made sense. Back on track…
Monday hits and things are hunky dory. I got some business for my side hustle, and as I’m preparing the email with the mockups and quote, I tune in to the local talk radio station’s YT channel because they broadcast all their shows from 6am-9pm simultaneously only to see him in the studio. It took a minute for my brain to process what they were saying: their traffic reporter, my sweet friend Matt, had been found deceased in his apartment.
It was like a kick in the taco. The world is 1000% worse without him in it. Meanwhile, I’m despondent, and my phone is ringing off the hook. Three times in a row, same number, unknown. I pick it up in my business receptionist voice. On the other end is voice in Spanish, asking if I helped people buy houses.
*GASP* A CLIENT!
As if that wasn’t enough, the reaper went back to picking cherished celebrities off one at a time.
Wednesday everything comes to a head, my anxiety is back with a roaring vengeance, something I hadn’t felt in so long. My seller rejects the offers she got, one which belonged to my buyer. The weight of having to break the news to my buyer and the other agent was weighing heavy and after ripping that band-aid off, I went straight into DND mode for the next couple of days. Ii went to lunch with a fellow agent and she prayed over me, which brought me immense amounts of comfort.
Thursday was better but I couldn’t fully decompress.
Finally yesterday, the world stopped. Met a friend and colleague for a fantastic lunch at a fantastic new Cuban eatery. The conversation was uplifting, funny, and fulfilling. Later that evening, I met my radio family for dinner. For four long hours, we sat at the hi-tops in a corner of an Applebee’s bar lost in each other’s company. Pretty sure we were all blind to our surroundings the entire time. The food was communal, the drinks flowed, the laughs were had, the conversation was irreverent, and we celebrated our friend Matt the best way we could just being there together.
I am full of immense gratitude for my peeps. I was very lonely here for a long time, Covid made loneliness worse. Most people can’t stand being around more than one or two people tops! We, however, have found immense comfort in each other and forged forever friendships.
As my client says, “The world is crazy but we don’t have to be.”
Just breathe.