Both of my daughters are every parents hopes: smart, good kids, with good friends and good values, talented, beautiful….one should only be so blessed once, but twice? How lucky I am! It’s such an honor. But my oldest has chosen estrangement instead of maturity. Cowardice over compassion. We’re on year 6 of estragement. She visits my website nearly every day, though.

Imagine hating someone who did nothing wrong except be born, someone you don’t even know. But that’s the path the older one took, despite all my best efforts to try to have some semblance of normalcy. That’s the difference between you and me. You’re going to hate me forever …you don’t even KNOW me anymore…. and I’m going to love you forever even though you hate me. I’ve accepted it. But it still makes me sad because it doesn’t have to be this way. Not even for me but for her. Her friends are fine but they’re just her friends.

You’re her sister. You could be having the BEST conversations, you literally could be the absolute bestest friends, the kind you see on tv and think doesn’t exist but actually does. She carries her own grief for you and she hides it so well behind that smile. She wants to know you so badly. She wants to share with her life with you. And when it comes to navigating friendships and life and acceptance and all that stuff, you were supposed to be the backup for those times she doesn’t want to listen to mom. That’s what sisters are for-the secrets you don’t want mom to find out.

But you’re just …you. And still you visit this page every day looking for something-I’m guessing attention. So, here it is. Your sister on her 12th birthday without you in it.

Way to go. Hope you’re happy.