Sick of making hats and shawls for a minute, I checked Pinterest for a funny, quick amigurumi project. Not impressed by anything, I turned to one of my crochet groups on Facebook when one gal showed me her F-Bomb.
Seeing that I love to swear and FUCK is my second favorite swear word(my first is coño – essentially its equivalent in Spanish), I knew had to make one. The pattern for this one comes from https://deblon.blogspot.com/2015/03/f-bomb.html and grabbed my stuff and got to work.
First things first, I love black. My wardrobe is 99.9% black clothing. Give me a choice of colors on just about anything and there’s a great chance I’m picking black. That said, I LOATHE black yarn with the fury of a million suns. I always have some on hand, but it’s usually for very small things. I don’t even know which brand of yarn I used since it was a ball of leftover yarn, although there’s a good chance it was Hobby Lobby’s ILTY. Future F-bombs will be made in a pewter/dark gray yarn. I suppose I could make them in any color, really, but the color if the yarn isn’t relevant to my actual issue with the pattern.
My primary issue with this pattern is that it’s not a perfect spherical shape. My end result had a bit of an amphora shape: conical bottom, wide body, flat top. And even though it’s very well stuffed with Poly-fill, it just doesn’t have (or keep) that perfect round shape I associate with a round mortar. Sewing the top also probed a bit of a challenge. I crocheted it correctly, but in attaching it, it still looks stumpy. The letter F comes from the website Moogly Blog’s Alphabet series. In addition to the capitals, she also has patterns for lower case letters, numbers, punctuation, and symbols. They are phenomenal for making name buntings…and of course, the F-bomb. Again, since I’m not happy with anything, I find the letter too big for this sized bomb. It’s probably because I used a 4mm hook instead of a 3.75mm.
I’ll be making another one soon, and while I’ve never written a pattern, I’ll do my best to write it down. My petty grievances aside, I fucking LOVE this F bomb. I love that it has a little fuse, it’s fun to throw around, and using the right combo of yarn and stuffing, it’s the perfect squishy distraction.