Myth 1. Extroverts don’t have feelings.
I know, I can be boisterous, I love to talk, I love to tell a funny story to make people laugh.
You feel overlooked and marginalized. You’re afraid you’re being left out.
News flash: WE ALL FEEL LEFT OUT. If you only knew how left out I felt in my current situation where I have NO friends where I live and my personality doesn’t seem to jive with everyone.
You don’t have the market cornered on feeling unwanted or under-appreciated..
I’m not your enemy. You’re welcome to all my conversations.
Myth 2. Extroverts are naturally outgoing.
I consistently embarrass myself in public, because I just can’t seem to STFU. Top it off with some awkwardness and I am a recipe for disaster.
Do you even know what happens to the loud kids? They get ridiculed.
True story.
I wish I could be like you. You know when — and how — to keep your mouth shut. It protects you from the particular brand of bullying, wherein kids pick on what you have to say. Do you know how demoralizing that is? It’s enough to make a kid feel like the world’s biggest loser.
Myth 3. Extroverts aren’t introspective.
A common argument is that introverts think and extroverts act. Um, I overthink. A lot. I am grotesquely hyper-aware of my flaws, insecurities and fears. As the survivor of domestic abuse, believe me when I tell you, introspection keeps my ass humble.
Myth 4. Extroverts don’t want to hear what you have to say.
Nothing could be further from the truth! I’m profoundly interested in other people. That’s kind of the definition of extroversion. I get high off being around you.
When I get excited, I will babble incoherent and excitedly about whatever. I can’t seem to help it, although I am getting better. I’m always so conscious of this so:
A: I am petrified of being a bore, and I’m certain you don’t like me.
B: I wanted to learn all about you, and I totally sabotaged myself.
When I catch myself, I’ll stop talking, sometimes mid-thought, and return the conversation back on you.
But here’s the thing: silence makes me kind of uncomfortable. For me, silence = social rejection. This is problematic, because introverts generally take more time to choose their words. That silence, that pause, starts to feel eternal and so I freak out and start to fill it.
I’m sorry! I can’t help it!
Myth 5. Extroverts are self-absorbed bastards, who are stomping all over you.
Fuck that.
Extroverts, by nature, really, really, really want to get to know you. I gain nothing by marginalizing you.
My husband is an introvert so he’s great for helping me reel it in and helping me work on being more sensitive to an introverts needs. Empathy is good.
But, you know, It goes both ways.
I’ll work on not disrupting pensive moments of prolonged silence and you can work on being a little more relaxed with your responses. “Let me think about that for a second,” is a great alleviator.